I don’t know about you, but I absolutely detest deliberately ambiguous Facebook status updates. According to Urban Dictionary there is a phrase for it: vague booking which is described thus:

An intentionally vague Facebook status update that prompts friends to ask what’s going on, or is possibly a cry for help.

However much I like my Facebook friend, to see them post a status such as ‘I’ve had enough’ without further qualification has me both irritated and intrigued in equal measure, so of course I have to post the obligatory, ‘What’s up hon?’ along with their other five-hundred close friends, at which point, when we’ve all become worried something terrible has happened, started clogging their timeline with pictures of kittens doing press-ups saying, ‘Stay Strong!’ and frantically firing off private messages promising that we will always be there for her, it emerges that our friend has completely lost it that YET AGAIN, despite instructions (verbal and stuck to the wall above the recycling bin) one of the male junior members of the household has put plastic bags in the recycling bin so the bin men have refused to take the bin and plastered it with a Sticker of Shame. OK, so I’ll put my hands up to let you know that deranged bin woman is me, but not the Vaguebook status, though I have, on occasions, been guilty of the odd wishy-washy post. But generally, that’s not me, so I apologise right now that this post is vague, though not deliberately so, but only because I’m too tired and strung out to go into details, which of course makes me guilty of the blog equivalent of Vaguebooking.

When things go wrong in my life, broadly speaking, my first reaction is to shut down, hide, refuse to answer the phone or emails and lie on the sofa watching trashy telly with a packet of Mr Kipling Almond Slices resting on my tummy. It’s five years ago this Saturday since JS drowned whilst we were on holiday in Barbados, and much of the weeks afterwards was spent ‘watching’ Two and a Half Men in a state of terror surrounded by cake crumbs.

Things have been difficult here since just after Christmas, and it continues to be an anxious and challenging time. I’m sorry for my vagueness. I’m not keeping anything secret, it’s just that I can’t yet write about what is happening because I don’t know the outcome, and I can’t bring myself to put fingers to keyboard. In my mind, it’s all too frightening at the moment. I’m at the ‘hiding’ stage, but now I’m watching endless episodes of Say Yes to The Dress and going way over the top about plastic bags in the wrong bins.

A very famous blogger with millions of followers once advised that bloggers should never explain to their readers why there has been a break in their blogging; apparently you should just put a new post up and seamlessly continue without qualification or comment, and never ever do a post saying, ‘Back soon’. A ‘Back Soon’ post is lazy and tacky, a bit like me lying on the sofa watching Say Yes To The Dress.

Back soon.


Reply February 23, 2016

It's Downton Abbey for me. Your book and blog have helped me lots. Sorry you are having a difficult time. I'm sure you will get loads of encouraging messages; I just wanted to add mine.

    Reply April 17, 2016

    Safe home, Helen

Reply February 23, 2016

Hi, I jut wanted to say that I am sorry for whatever it is that is troubling you at the moment and that I hope things work out as you want them too. I have just finished your book and it has helped me tremendously over the last few weeks since I lost my husband suddenly. Thinking of you and hoping that things get better for you soon xx

Reply February 23, 2016

Your absence and any difficulties in verbalising where you are right now are totally understandable- and there's no obligation of need for any explanation. Sometimes you just need to focus inwards and the true wider people will understand and be beside you whenever you need. We'll never leave and I'm just so sorry you're walking a scary and difficult path right now. Xxx

Reply February 23, 2016

Sending you love xxx

Reply June 11, 2016

don't know if you will read this, but I hope that you can find what is missing ?? I lost my partner of 40 years, 2 years ago in August, and I miss him everyday. I go through the motions, everybody thinks I'm ok, because I don't cry, I walk the dogs and appear 'normal' to them. But they don't know, that as well as losing half of myself, I have also lost my future, if it were not for my dogs I'd have no purpose. I hope that you are well, and Boris too. Although we have never met, it is quite likely that we have passed in the street, or on the heath. I hope you find the answers that you need to find x