I am so glad I have found your website. I lost my husband 8 months ago to cancer in less than year after being diagnosed on my 43th birthday. As difficult as it is for you to share all of your feelings and thoughts, I’m very glad you do. This is the first website I have come across that makes me feel like I’m normal(of course I say that loosely because how can one be normal after the death of a spouse).
I don’t remember the first 6 months. Depending on the moment, I may be angry/sad/confusion/irritated/numb…the list goes on. But I have also had moments of happiness and joy with my children, which I have learned is okay too. Everyday is a surprise as to how it will turn out.
Thanks again for sharing and please continued to do so. It helps to know there are others that understand and aren’t trying to “fix” you but just offering support.
My heart goes out to you on your loss.