Jennifer’s story

I am so glad I have found your website. I lost my husband 8 months ago to cancer in less than year after being diagnosed on my 43th birthday. As difficult as it is for you to share all of your feelings and thoughts, I’m very glad you do. This is the first website I have come across that makes me feel like I’m normal(of course I say that loosely because how can one be normal after the death of a spouse).

I don’t remember the first 6 months. Depending on the moment, I may be angry/sad/confusion/irritated/numb…the list goes on. But I have also had moments of happiness and joy with my children, which I have learned is okay too. Everyday is a surprise as to how it will turn out.

Thanks again for sharing and please continued to do so. It helps to know there are others that understand and aren’t trying to “fix” you but just offering support.

My heart goes out to you on your loss.


Hendrik Hart
Reply October 3, 2015

The Guardian’s review of the memoir When Bad Things Happen in Good Bikinis has the author saying: “Often, the triumphs are the setbacks – that old double-bind of grief that can make progress feel like a disservice to the deceased.” That was indeed a fear I had in the weeks before my wife died. I never told her, so it was sort of miraculous that she called me to her bedside the day before she died to ask me for a promise. Would I promise her after she was gone to try to live happily? I did. Of course I did. And the fear is gone. Now, when I miss her at some wonderful moment, I know this is what she had in mind and I am grateful I am living up to my promise. Did she know of my problem when she was still here? I don’t know, but I think not. But I do know that it was perhaps the greatest gift I ever received from her.